Hild had been so many people in her time, so many different roles, had taken on so many different mantles, that at times it had been difficult to pinpoint which one -- if any -- was Hild herself. Difficult to name what was Hild, if not this or that at a given point in time. She lost herself on a regular basis, back home, had to. She could never be what she wanted to be, not fully, not without losing something in the process. The idea of that loss of self struck her as less important than Effy seemed to think. It would not have registered so with Hild.
But she would not, necessarily, have preferred to lose the memories. She had a healthy fear of losing this place which had given her so much, but the fear was not paralyzing. Were she to go back home, she would prefer the thoughts not to prevent the loss of self but to prevent a loss of others. The memories themselves deserved to be remembered, if not by Hild than by the others who lived them. But if all disappeared, they would all be lost.
"Hmm. Well, you might call it the Dark Ages, if you're of the same world and of the time I think you are." There was a manner about modern people, a casualness that spoke of less restriction in behavior and in thought than would have been allowed in Hild's day, by any, a casualness that Hild had tried to adopt, though in some ways it was impossible to take on fully. There would always be something of the uncanny in her.
"Northumbria. England, some six hundred years after the birth of the Christ god. Supposedly. I am niece to the king, so my life was not very much like any other's. It was very different from this and yet not. Slower in the every day, but dangerous, always."
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But she would not, necessarily, have preferred to lose the memories. She had a healthy fear of losing this place which had given her so much, but the fear was not paralyzing. Were she to go back home, she would prefer the thoughts not to prevent the loss of self but to prevent a loss of others. The memories themselves deserved to be remembered, if not by Hild than by the others who lived them. But if all disappeared, they would all be lost.
"Hmm. Well, you might call it the Dark Ages, if you're of the same world and of the time I think you are." There was a manner about modern people, a casualness that spoke of less restriction in behavior and in thought than would have been allowed in Hild's day, by any, a casualness that Hild had tried to adopt, though in some ways it was impossible to take on fully. There would always be something of the uncanny in her.
"Northumbria. England, some six hundred years after the birth of the Christ god. Supposedly. I am niece to the king, so my life was not very much like any other's. It was very different from this and yet not. Slower in the every day, but dangerous, always."