Hild (
light_of_the_world) wrote2017-09-09 11:54 am
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wild sage growing in the weeds
There had been rain off and on for the last two days, not enough to stop Hild from gathering her herbs, but enough to make everything sticky and unpleasant. There were times that she liked the rain, when the weather had grown hot and the air pregnant with humidity, until it finally burst and fell. She liked the smell of newly wet cement, the patter of rain drops and the force of a torrent. There were times when she loved the rain, when the morning was crisp and cool and misting or when she could feel the mud between her toes but not yet fear slipping, when the world was green and beautiful and precious after the water had refreshed it. But there were of course times when mud clung to her dress and weighed it down, when water wilted what should be fresh growing flowers and made life feel somewhat impossible.
She was grateful for the sunshine and the lack of clouds on that day, knowing that the mud would dry out soon and the flowers would respond to the sun like children growing under praise. It was a day when everything felt fresh, the air cool and unsullied in the countryside morning. Hild had stopped at a walnut tree, it's broad spread boughs easily reached for a climb. Walking carefully along one of the branches, she reached for the nuts and threw them into the basket she had left down on the ground. Most of them hit the woven container, but many did not. She hissed out a curse as a squirrel bounded out to grab one and threw a nut at him.
"Bane of my life," she shouted down at him in Anglisc. Though a rueful grin tugged at her lips, she was only half joking.
She was grateful for the sunshine and the lack of clouds on that day, knowing that the mud would dry out soon and the flowers would respond to the sun like children growing under praise. It was a day when everything felt fresh, the air cool and unsullied in the countryside morning. Hild had stopped at a walnut tree, it's broad spread boughs easily reached for a climb. Walking carefully along one of the branches, she reached for the nuts and threw them into the basket she had left down on the ground. Most of them hit the woven container, but many did not. She hissed out a curse as a squirrel bounded out to grab one and threw a nut at him.
"Bane of my life," she shouted down at him in Anglisc. Though a rueful grin tugged at her lips, she was only half joking.
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Having picked up a couple of books from the library, Effy had set out earlier with the intention of finding a quiet space in the woods to read, a small lunch pack slung over her shoulder with crackers, cheese, and a couple of small drinks. The books were dry, long treatises on tax law and corporate policies that she needed to familiarize herself before her interview.
Just as she was about to settle down, she heard a yell in the distance, and looked up to find a young woman in the trees. While the words were foreign, Effy soon spotted the source of the woman's ire, and made her way over to scare the squirrel off.
"Can't have thieves around, even cute ones," she mused, smiling up at her companion.
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Hild recognized that she probably looked a mess, all things considered. Her hair was wild and free, her dress was kilted up around her knees to give her freer movement as she climbed trees and walked across and through the tall grasses. Her feet were bare. But her eyes were as bright as ever, a light flush on her cheeks as she gaze down with interest at the other girl. Head cocked to the side, she looked like a bird, attentive and curious.
She was quite pretty with a husky, interesting voice. There was a sharpness in her gaze that Hild recognized, the kind of observant gleam that remained even when joking or sad.
"Who are you?" Hild asked in a friendly, open tone.
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Sometimes she wishes they'd never left that little island.
But Effy pulls her attention now back to the other woman. There's an air of nonchalance, of disregard in the way that her skirt hikes up her legs, in the bare feet that brace against the bark of the tree. It's the opposite of how Effy presents herself these days, and maybe it's for that reason that she drops her belongings now and slips out of her shoes, coming up to stand near the foot of the tree.
Not climbing up yet she hasn't been invited.
"Name's Effy. Recently arrived in the city for the second time," she says, lips curved and eyes bright with interest. "You?"
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"Hild. I have been here two years and some months." It felt like forever, at times, and then no time at all. So much had changed and it was difficult to see where the change had occurred, exactly. When she had gone from seer and princess and butcher bird to a woman and shop owner and lover. It was a whirl and every time Hild stopped to count the time, she was surprised.
Her mouth tugged into a thoughtful frown, her eyes never leaving Effy's face. "I've never met someone who's been here a second time."
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It doesn't take her too long to find an adjacent branch, fingers resting gently on the bough.
"Seems like we were both in the city before, then, even if we didn't cross paths," Effy says quietly, her gaze dropping. A greater romantic might spin the moment into something bigger an opportunity to meet someone she'd unfortunately missed before. But truth is, trying to assign some greater meaning into why and how she's returned is one of the few things Effy fears in the city. Finding a reason means there might be something she could do that would make them take it back.
Counting on chance to be cruel is a safer bet, in its way.
"And I can't say that I know anyone else who's been here a second time and remembers what they lived, either," she adds, looking up again. "But this city practically lives to take us all by surprise, doesn't it?"
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"It does," Hild agreed, but her words only a breath of acknowledgment. She was much more intrigued by what else Effy had said.
"You truly remember everything that happened before, here? And you went back to your life before when you disappeared? Or did you go to some other place as well?"
It was a strange thought. Hild had often wondered which would be the case, whether she would return to Northumbria and recall every piece of the modern that she had encountered, every friend and lover she had made. But her story was in the past. Surely if she brought some of this knowledge back with her, things would have been different. She would have been different. And she had to be the same.
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She leans against the trunk of the tree, bringing her legs up to balance on the branch, body holding a loosely perpendicular position.
"Before I came here, there was actually another world that I'd been to that wasn't my own," she explains. "I was born in England, and before I completed college, I was transported to an island that bore some similarities to this city. People would show up out of nowhere. And they would vanish without warning or trace. There weren't people who considered themselves natives, however — just a bunch of us outsiders, marooned on an island that would magically provide for us, stocking some food in our pantries and providing roofs over our heads." She closes her eyes, recalling the wash of the waves and smell of the sea. "When I returned suddenly to England, I remembered nothing of the island. And then, one day, I showed up here, and everything that happened on the island came back to me. Back to England, nothing. And now, back here again, with my memories intact."
Her eyes opened slowly, an almost imperceptible furrow in her brow. "It seems like none of these places let you remember anything when you're living life in your original world. But apparently you don't have to lose them forever. Just have to go through the looking glass again."
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Hild's eyes widened as she listened to Effy's tale of an island, seemingly commanded by the same magic that ruled their lives here. The inexplicable appearances and disappearances. The magical provisions (for there certainly wasn't enough farmland within the confines of Darrow to feed the entire city with what made up their daily meals). The way Effy's memories came and went. She wondered at it, wondered how the knot of connection was made, but, as with so much in Darrow, there was no readily available answer. All she could do was soak up the information that Effy gave her and try to fit it into place later. If she wanted to. She wished for understanding even as she did not wish to return home, but she knew others did. Others wanted simply the option.
"Is it better though?" Hild asked. She knew that she should tread carefully, not lead them astray into dark thoughts, but Effy had been open so far and Hild wondered. "Do those memories help you now or do they only hurt?"
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She closes her eyes, thinking back to that brief period of peace, when she'd been able to walk the streets of Bristol without thought or hesitation. When she made time to observe how beautiful the parks were, with the water flowing under the bridges, people milling through streets and glancing around corners. Being a blank slate had made her more observant, but at the cost of losing Effy.
"...like a loss of self," she determines, swinging her feet gently through the air, feeling its coolness against her skin. "I guess there were two Effys for a while. One in London, one who didn't remember anything from here and had only those experiences to drive her. But I like the one here more. Not to mention that there's something nice about a place with as many surprises as this one. I like a bit of risk."
She leans against the tree, gaze tracing along the contour of Hild's face.
"Mind if I ask what your world was like?"
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But she would not, necessarily, have preferred to lose the memories. She had a healthy fear of losing this place which had given her so much, but the fear was not paralyzing. Were she to go back home, she would prefer the thoughts not to prevent the loss of self but to prevent a loss of others. The memories themselves deserved to be remembered, if not by Hild than by the others who lived them. But if all disappeared, they would all be lost.
"Hmm. Well, you might call it the Dark Ages, if you're of the same world and of the time I think you are." There was a manner about modern people, a casualness that spoke of less restriction in behavior and in thought than would have been allowed in Hild's day, by any, a casualness that Hild had tried to adopt, though in some ways it was impossible to take on fully. There would always be something of the uncanny in her.
"Northumbria. England, some six hundred years after the birth of the Christ god. Supposedly. I am niece to the king, so my life was not very much like any other's. It was very different from this and yet not. Slower in the every day, but dangerous, always."
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Because there's only so much that the mind can hold before it starts to spill over and away. Little details, like the snails that slowly drag their heavy loads, easily spotted on the trails leading to Harley's house. Or the way that new paths fork out from the brooks after a heavy rain. Things like the smell of the smoke and petrol as one makes their way to the center of the city.
Things that are hard to put into words, that can't be captured in pictures, and that will one day fade entirely into obscurity, unless Mother Nature so happens to preserve them.
"And somewhat familiar with Northumbria as well," she adds, her eyes taking on a keener interest. "It's certainly about as safe here as a place can be while supporting such a diverse population. I've hardly ever heard of people like us, people from other worlds, passing away here." She leans her head against the trunk of the tree. "So, is being a niece of the king something you like to talk about? Or should I be filing that away as background knowledge?"
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Hild would counter her, lightly, thoughtfully, on one point. "Isn't disappearing something the same as dying?" she asked, head tilted. "Before you, I hadn't heard of anyone retaining their memories in coming back here. That's years of people coming and going, here and not, and when returning, returning as a new person. The departed continue to live, but what's the difference to our hearts, left behind?" There was some solace to be taken in the thought of those who had left continuing to live in another world. But what was the idea of heaven if not the same cold comfort?
Kicking her legs out idly, Hild gripped the branch beneath her, feeling cracked bark beneath her palms and a few ants skittering up her pinkie finger. She did not dislodge them, but followed their path with her eyes only to see if there were more.
"It is and isn't," she replied. "To be honest, I did not spend much of my time as a proper princess. I was his seer as well, you see."
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Effy's eyes follow a couple of leaves as they shake free of the tree, fluttering down in quick, erratic spirals, landing a fair space apart.
"Sometimes not knowing means you can't rest your mind about it."
The mention of seeing draws fascination in Effy's eyes, and she leans a little closer, movement given away by the rustling of the leaves. She's never had a drop of magic in herself. Not of that sort, at least — and it feels as unattainable as it has been absent in her life. All inevitably honing her curiosity.
"And can you actually? See more than the rest of us can?"